My mom is truly one of my best friends but we haven’t always been so close. Just like every kid, I went through my “leave me alone mom” stage; there was constant fighting and eye rolling (on both ends). I like to call this part of my life ‘the dark ages’. Looking back, I can not believe that there was once a time when my mom and I didn’t get along, but because of these hard years, I feel even more blessed to now have such a close relationship her. She is literally the first person I call when anything happens, good or bad. My mom is my shoulder to cry on and my person to adventure with. I can’t even go shopping on my own! I always have to send her a picture and ask for her opinion.

I have not seen my absolute best friend in 100 days. That is 100 days without a mom hug (we all know those are the best kind of hugs), without a kiss on the head telling you everything is going to be ok, and without having the person that makes you feel the safest.

For these reasons, being away from her on mother’s day is so difficult. This year’s mother’s day is the first of many that I won’t get to share with my mom and so far I do not like that.

It breaks my heart that I will not get to be with her on the one day of the year dedicated to showing how much appreciation I have for everything she has done as a mom and given up for me just because I am her daughter. I know that you shouldn’t need a holiday to show how much someone means to you, you should do it every day however, it is hard when everywhere you look is covered in mother’s day adds and gifts, and you can’t even see your mom and give her a hug. I also can’t imagine how hard it is for my mom to see all the Facebook posts from other moms sharing the things that their kids did for them. It is like being the only one that doesn’t get invited to the party and you have reminders of it everywhere you look.

It sucks.

All that I want to do is to make my mom feel like the queen of the world for a day because she deserves to feel like she is on top of the world. She deserves at least one day where everyone puts her first just like she does for all of us every other day of her life.

I cannot wait to drive up to my house and get out of my car in 20 days, and run to give my mom our first hug in 120 days. I know for a fact that I will cry. Living half way across the country from my mom is one of the hardest things I have done and holidays like mother’s day makes it ten times harder. Leaving the nest and flying on your own is scary to begin with, but not being able to fly back to the nest whenever you want makes it so much worse. This part of growing up is so difficult, but I am a true believer that best things come from the hardest times. I know that I had to push myself out of the nest so that I could learn to fly on my own. I hope that I soar higher than my mom ever could have dreamed so that I can make her prouder than she could have ever imagined. I live each day to make her proud so that she feels that her sacrifices were worth it.

College is hard. Being away from the people closest to you is even harder. But thanks to my mom I know that I have the strength to do it all and get through whatever life throws at me.

I wish I could be with her on mother’s day, but I can’t. What I can do is finish my year strong, be the best daughter I can, and show the world that she raised an amazing person because she is an amazing mother.